Love Your Neighbor. Love Yourself.

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."             -Colossians 3:12



"But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."     1 Samuel 16:7

I think it is probably on a weekly basis that I turn to my husband and ask, "Does this look okay?"

I'm not usually looking to find out if he really thinks I look okay.  What I really means is, "Will the world think I look okay today?"

A couple days ago wasn't any different.  Being a teacher, it was a rare day where the students didn't have school, but it was still a work day for us.  Love those days...not because I don't like having the students around, but because I get to spend time with my colleagues and hopefully get the things done that I usually have to do at home after my kids are in bed.  We also have the luxury of wearing whatever we want on these days and usually go pretty comfy.

This time I looked at my shoes and put on high heels with my outfit.  (Third grade teachers never get to wear heels or their feet would hate them forever.)  I immediately turned to my husband and said, "I should take this off and put on a sweatshirt, shouldn't I?"

He looked at me dumbfounded.  "Why?"

"We don't wear heels to professional development days, it'll look weird," I said.

"Why can't you just be you?"

Hmmmm.

He was right, of course.  Why couldn't I just wear what I like?  I marched out with my heels on.

This is a major issue for all of us.  We are constantly setting a ridiculous expectation, trying to meet a standard, caring too much what others think of us, and comparing ourselves to those around us.

Why do we do this?

We compare ourselves to other people.  Are we fatter, shorter, flatter, taller, more curvy, more toned, whiter, darker?  Do we have better hair, clothes, features, make-up, shoes, jewelry, cars, homes, gardens?

"She's a better mother than me because her cupcakes look like they just came out of a professional bakery."

"He's a better man because he has a better car."

We even compare our kids to other kids.

It is ever-present in our heads, and we beat ourselves up about it because we never measure up.

But they're all lies.

The reality is, every single time we do this, we are judging at least two people:  the person we are comparing ourselves to and ourselves.  And we use that judgement to form our own identity, deciding our self-worth is better or worse than someone else.

The truth is that when we judge someone based on their appearance, on their job, on their children, on their home, on their car, or on the mistakes they've made, we don't have anything near the whole picture...and that's not a fair assessment of anything.  We then use that poor judgement to form an opinion about them and about ourselves compared to them.  Then the identity we hold for them isn't fair and the reality we hold for ourselves isn't truth.

But God says that our identity is in Him and that judgement is His.

If we stop comparing ourselves to others in everything we do and say, and especially in the way we look, and start finding our identity in a God who planned us each uniquely and perfectly, we free both ourselves and the people around us from hatred, prejudice, and judgement.  We learn to see each person through the eyes of Christ-including ourselves.  And maybe, just maybe, learn to clothe ourselves with "...compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

And an identity as a Child of God, with qualities worthy of Him, is an identity to be proud of.

Love your neighbor.  Love yourself.