Saturday, January 18, 2014
Love Your Neighbor. Love Yourself.
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." -Colossians 3:12
"But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
I think it is probably on a weekly basis that I turn to my husband and ask, "Does this look okay?"
I'm not usually looking to find out if he really thinks I look okay. What I really means is, "Will the world think I look okay today?"
A couple days ago wasn't any different. Being a teacher, it was a rare day where the students didn't have school, but it was still a work day for us. Love those days...not because I don't like having the students around, but because I get to spend time with my colleagues and hopefully get the things done that I usually have to do at home after my kids are in bed. We also have the luxury of wearing whatever we want on these days and usually go pretty comfy.
This time I looked at my shoes and put on high heels with my outfit. (Third grade teachers never get to wear heels or their feet would hate them forever.) I immediately turned to my husband and said, "I should take this off and put on a sweatshirt, shouldn't I?"
He looked at me dumbfounded. "Why?"
"We don't wear heels to professional development days, it'll look weird," I said.
"Why can't you just be you?"
Hmmmm.
He was right, of course. Why couldn't I just wear what I like? I marched out with my heels on.
This is a major issue for all of us. We are constantly setting a ridiculous expectation, trying to meet a standard, caring too much what others think of us, and comparing ourselves to those around us.
Why do we do this?
We compare ourselves to other people. Are we fatter, shorter, flatter, taller, more curvy, more toned, whiter, darker? Do we have better hair, clothes, features, make-up, shoes, jewelry, cars, homes, gardens?
"She's a better mother than me because her cupcakes look like they just came out of a professional bakery."
"He's a better man because he has a better car."
We even compare our kids to other kids.
It is ever-present in our heads, and we beat ourselves up about it because we never measure up.
But they're all lies.
The reality is, every single time we do this, we are judging at least two people: the person we are comparing ourselves to and ourselves. And we use that judgement to form our own identity, deciding our self-worth is better or worse than someone else.
The truth is that when we judge someone based on their appearance, on their job, on their children, on their home, on their car, or on the mistakes they've made, we don't have anything near the whole picture...and that's not a fair assessment of anything. We then use that poor judgement to form an opinion about them and about ourselves compared to them. Then the identity we hold for them isn't fair and the reality we hold for ourselves isn't truth.
But God says that our identity is in Him and that judgement is His.
If we stop comparing ourselves to others in everything we do and say, and especially in the way we look, and start finding our identity in a God who planned us each uniquely and perfectly, we free both ourselves and the people around us from hatred, prejudice, and judgement. We learn to see each person through the eyes of Christ-including ourselves. And maybe, just maybe, learn to clothe ourselves with "...compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."
And an identity as a Child of God, with qualities worthy of Him, is an identity to be proud of.
Love your neighbor. Love yourself.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Resolutions
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson
I remember the first time I felt disappointment in life that caused me to shrink within myself; the moment I learned to fear failure. It may seem like a silly, trivial thing to most of you, but it was my senior year of high school at the end of our basketball season and we had just lost the game to go to the state tournament.
Going into the game I believed, without question, that we would win. I was confident in our game plan, confident in my team to play well, and perhaps a little over confident in my own ability. I was fearless.
A 16-0 start to the game, us being the goose-egg, I had quickly been put in my place. Our team would not come away with a win that night, but the real loss was the spirit within me. The confident, sparkling spirit that knew how to soar without fear. I began to shrink.
Once a person lets that fear in, it becomes powerful and can change a person from the inside out. The following year at Luther, I quit the basketball team. I had lost the passion and sparkle, and hadn't picked up a ball more than a handful of times in the off-season. Even as I tried to play again the following year at Waldorf, I lacked the necessary confidence and poise to be the success I had intended.
In all reality, God had never intended for me to play in the WNBA.
Over the years since then, fear has crept in my spirit because of a lot of those disappointments. As I think about resolutions for 2014, I can't help but look at my inability to sparkle and shine since I learned to fear failure.
Every time something bad has happened, I can look back now and see the aftermath. The coiling back within myself-afraid of my confidence. Life experience has taught me to fear losing a loved one and my children, to fear the breaking of my heart again and again, to fear experiencing deep hurt and disappointment in relationships....to fear that I will fail.
But deep within me, there is a calling to shine. A voice that screams, "Rise up!"
It was FDR that said, "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself," but it is my Savior who calls me to become his child...the one he intended me to be. The spirit that soars without fear.
So I look at 2014 with resolve. I am resolved to do the following, because God calls me to shine. Will you?
1. Love with abandon-
"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." -John 15:13
There is no one-NO ONE-without fault or undeserving of love. To hide one's heart in fear or because of pride, is to hide the greatest part of you, your greatest asset. It hides your biggest source of light. Holding back love out of fear of being hurt damages all those in your path, including yourself. Don't let the standards or opinions of others tell you who to love. Instead ALWAYS choose love and love with abandon. Show grace.
2. Trust in the Lord-
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, soul, and mind and he will direct your path."
-Proverbs 3:5
There is a saying, "We may not know what tomorrow holds, but we know who holds tomorrow." There is freedom in knowing that the one who created you, who created the universe, who loves you, is in control and always will be. Trust that he is working for your good. Know that he will be there no matter what you face.
3. Be Thankful-
"Always be joyful, never stop praying, be thankful in all circumstances."
-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
In all days, in all trials, there are things to be thankful for, blessings to be counted. Cling to them and be thankful and you will find strength. Remind yourself of them in your weakest moments and remember hope. Good and bad, life is a gift, and the journey is enough to be joyful for.
4. Pray-
"I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears." -Psalm 34:4
If there is anything I have learned at all, it is that I can always find peace in any circumstance by seeking a relationship with Jesus. There is no greater source of strength nor to greater way to ease fear. It is in the relationship that there is hope.
5. Succeed at becoming "Me"-
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. -Philippians 4:13
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11
This year for me is about defeating fears. There will be no hesitation to chase dreams. No doubt in my capabilities or possibilities. No fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of myself, fear of others, or fear of situations, for God has already planned a future, planned for you, and planned for me.
It is a year to put away the past. A year to be free. A year to find a calling. A year to find light. A year to shine.
Rising up!
I remember the first time I felt disappointment in life that caused me to shrink within myself; the moment I learned to fear failure. It may seem like a silly, trivial thing to most of you, but it was my senior year of high school at the end of our basketball season and we had just lost the game to go to the state tournament.
Going into the game I believed, without question, that we would win. I was confident in our game plan, confident in my team to play well, and perhaps a little over confident in my own ability. I was fearless.
A 16-0 start to the game, us being the goose-egg, I had quickly been put in my place. Our team would not come away with a win that night, but the real loss was the spirit within me. The confident, sparkling spirit that knew how to soar without fear. I began to shrink.
Once a person lets that fear in, it becomes powerful and can change a person from the inside out. The following year at Luther, I quit the basketball team. I had lost the passion and sparkle, and hadn't picked up a ball more than a handful of times in the off-season. Even as I tried to play again the following year at Waldorf, I lacked the necessary confidence and poise to be the success I had intended.
In all reality, God had never intended for me to play in the WNBA.
Over the years since then, fear has crept in my spirit because of a lot of those disappointments. As I think about resolutions for 2014, I can't help but look at my inability to sparkle and shine since I learned to fear failure.
Every time something bad has happened, I can look back now and see the aftermath. The coiling back within myself-afraid of my confidence. Life experience has taught me to fear losing a loved one and my children, to fear the breaking of my heart again and again, to fear experiencing deep hurt and disappointment in relationships....to fear that I will fail.
But deep within me, there is a calling to shine. A voice that screams, "Rise up!"
It was FDR that said, "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself," but it is my Savior who calls me to become his child...the one he intended me to be. The spirit that soars without fear.
So I look at 2014 with resolve. I am resolved to do the following, because God calls me to shine. Will you?
1. Love with abandon-
"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." -John 15:13
There is no one-NO ONE-without fault or undeserving of love. To hide one's heart in fear or because of pride, is to hide the greatest part of you, your greatest asset. It hides your biggest source of light. Holding back love out of fear of being hurt damages all those in your path, including yourself. Don't let the standards or opinions of others tell you who to love. Instead ALWAYS choose love and love with abandon. Show grace.
2. Trust in the Lord-
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, soul, and mind and he will direct your path."
-Proverbs 3:5
There is a saying, "We may not know what tomorrow holds, but we know who holds tomorrow." There is freedom in knowing that the one who created you, who created the universe, who loves you, is in control and always will be. Trust that he is working for your good. Know that he will be there no matter what you face.
3. Be Thankful-
"Always be joyful, never stop praying, be thankful in all circumstances."
-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
In all days, in all trials, there are things to be thankful for, blessings to be counted. Cling to them and be thankful and you will find strength. Remind yourself of them in your weakest moments and remember hope. Good and bad, life is a gift, and the journey is enough to be joyful for.
4. Pray-
"I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears." -Psalm 34:4
If there is anything I have learned at all, it is that I can always find peace in any circumstance by seeking a relationship with Jesus. There is no greater source of strength nor to greater way to ease fear. It is in the relationship that there is hope.
5. Succeed at becoming "Me"-
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. -Philippians 4:13
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11
This year for me is about defeating fears. There will be no hesitation to chase dreams. No doubt in my capabilities or possibilities. No fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of myself, fear of others, or fear of situations, for God has already planned a future, planned for you, and planned for me.
It is a year to put away the past. A year to be free. A year to find a calling. A year to find light. A year to shine.
Rising up!
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